When I was a kid, I believed that I wouldn’t be able to enjoy loneliness. I had many friends, I knew most of the people in my school and I loved being with relatives. I thought if I was ever alone, I would be miserable and crushed. Growing up, being in relationships and getting out of unhealthy relationships, I slowly learned to love my own company and, my views on solitude absolutely changed.
Now, I look forward to the next time that I get to be alone without any other human interference. No messages, no calls, no emails. No electronics. No one else but me.
Being fond of solitude doesn’t always equal to being a loner or having an egoistic attitude. It just means that we–people who love solitude–simply like to take some time out and enjoy some alone time in private.
I do enjoy being social to a certain extent–just not too much. I am not the type of person who get drunk and stay until 4 a.m. at a party. I do love my relatives but I don’t like big family events which require my presence for more than I could afford. When it’s too much company for too long, I need some space to breathe or I feel mentally drained. Freedom and privacy are crucial for me to be happy. As I know how important freedom and privacy are for me, I always respect freedom and privacy of other people. If someone neglects my need for enough space, then they won’t earn my friendship or companionship. Love or friendship doesn’t grow when it is forced. Love has to grow freely.
When I am out with people, I am all out. I have a good laugh and create wonderful memories together. My friends circle is very small but those few that exists are very precious to me. They matter. I cherish them with all my heart. Those few people know my ways and they know when to leave me alone.
When I am all by myself, I engage myself in the activities that simply makes me happy. I like watching a good movie alone. But, I don’t bash the idea of watching it with another person. Either way, I enjoy the movie and the company–whether it’s my own or someone else’s. Just because I love solitude doesn’t mean I am against being with another human. When I am alone, my mind is able to process thoughts well and precisely because there’s less interaction to manage. I am able to focus all my attention and energy on my thoughts. When I am free, I write, I read, I paint, I cook, I watch a movie and sometimes, I dance. Alone. Yes. There’s no such rule as you can’t dance alone. Is there?
It is essential for a person to learn to be at peace when they are all alone. That way you don’t rely on another person to make you feel complete or alive. Being independent and learning to love you own company will help you lead a pleasant life. On the other hand, people who don’t respect others’ freedom often end up creating unhealthy relationships that eventually destroy others’ and their own inner peace.
Some people are so busy with their lives, forced relationships that they cannot find time to sit down and have a minute for themselves. They don’t know the joy of sitting alone on a comfy chair, sipping a cup of coffee and doing nothing. They fear their own solitude. They don’t like to be alone with themselves.
Solitude is not scary. Believe me. It’s not as toxic as the bad relationships that you keep hanging onto. It’s not as deadly as the people who intentionally hurt you.
Learning to love your own company will help you form more successful relationships and create strong bonds with others. By intentionally withdrawing from human relationships daily–even for a minute, an hour or two–will help you find your deepest values and influence your thinking positively. Learn to know about yourself enough and to be comfortable with that. To be in touch with your own soul is to be in control of your mind. How powerful is that?!
The purpose of solitude isn’t to just escape from the world and free our minds. Instead, in solitude, we can get inspired and gain many great insights and ideas that we can eventually share with the world. The next time you are free, put some music on, take a walk alone, and get lost in your thoughts. Take a break from the world to enjoy your own company and come back rejuvenated. Give solitude a chance to change your thoughts and to change the world around you for the better.
In response to today’s daily prompt: Solitude.