“No friendship is an accident.”
Friends are the family that we get to choose in life. We pick them and they pick us. Sometimes we choose wisely and other times we fail to pick the best ones.
When I was young, I thought the people who had so many friends were the coolest people. Growing up, I’ve realized how wrong I was. The value of having a small circle of real friends is more important that being friends with every one out there. It’s quality over quantity. Now that I am grown up and have experienced friendships of all kinds, I would rather have one true friend than a room full of fake friends.
Having one real friend who’s true to you in all ways is more precious than having a bunch of friends who talk behind your back and back-stab you when you least expect it. If your friend doesn’t call you out on your foolish choices and irresponsible behaviour, he isn’t a real friend. A real friend wouldn’t let you make the same mistake twice.
The true friend will support you no matter what. They know your struggle, they’ve seen you in pain. They know when you’re hurting so they would comfort you and help you heal those wounds. A fake friend would never be there for you. They will present so many excuses to explain why they couldn’t be there when you needed them. If your friend always has an excuse when you need them, your friendship is clearly questionable. If they ignore you when you really need their presence in your life, let that friend go. So many people cross your life unexpectedly and, you’ll always make a new friend.
I’m not the most social person nor I am a complete introvert. I am somewhere in the middle of the two so my friends circle has always been somewhat small. I don’t share my life with a person unless I feel like I can trust them. Even though a little socially awkward, I am a friendly person so it doesn’t take me a long time to become friends with a person. However, it does take a longer time for me to build a good friendship with someone.
I have very few close friends who I hang out with and go on little adventures with. The laughter, the memories, the good times, the trials and the understanding we share as friends is just too precious. We pick on each other, we laugh at the silly things we do. But, like a family, we protect each other. These special people have always been there for me and know me on a personal level. They genuinely care about my well-being. And, I care about them even more. They are the sunshine. Life is always better with them around. I am forever grateful for their presence in my life.
You can’t force friendships to bloom or build rapidly. It takes time, effort and care to nurture a good friendship. Being friends with dishonest friends will only create toxic relationships. These toxic relationships will drain your energy on a daily basis. Be bold enough to say good bye to these fake people. Just like another relationship, friendship requires both people being responsible and loyal to their relationship with each other. If you genuinely care about a friend, be there for them through thick and thin, not when it’s convenient to you. After all,
“The only way to have a friend is to be one.”