In 2009, alone in a cold basement of a single room apartment of my friend, I cried until my eyes hurt. My friend was away with her boyfriend. I distinctly remember talking to another friend because I was desperately in need of someone to talk to, someone to look up to. My parents were in panic as they weren’t able to reach me even if they wanted to. I was in USA and they were thousands of miles away. I haven’t answered any of their calls for days and nobody knew where I was as I left my dorm and went to my friend’s place without informing anybody.
I couldn’t think of what to do or where to find all the answers that I was looking for. I was mentally and physically exhausted. I was getting nowhere in my life, and having no specific purpose, balance and direction, I felt truly lost that night.
I was in college for Business administration thinking that it was the right path. It wasn’t. I had no interest in the business classes and I couldn’t think straight. That’s when I found myself in a crisis.
I was only 20 years of age.
During those hard times, I had no vision about my future and no direction to follow at all. Why does it matter you may ask. It matters because without purpose and clear focus, we lose motivation to actually lead a meaningful life which exactly what happened to me. When our lives lack motivation and purpose, we are not as excited about living as we should be. The worst thing is we start believing what everyone else is telling us, “You are a failure”.
After that night in the apartment, I spent two years looking for a purpose, trying to create a life that I am actually happy about and is excited for. It wasn’t easy. Mainly because people kept asking questions along the lines of “ Oh my god, you are so young. What are you doing with your life?!”..The same question popped up when I was 23, 24 and so on. When they weren’t getting any explanation about one aspect, they started questioning about more aspects. “Aren’t you getting married?”, “When are you going to settle down?”, “Ohhh, it’s useless for a girl to study for so long. It’s time that you settle down”… They always found a pickle no matter what.
I am 27 years of age now.
Today they ask the same questions. Instead of worrying about an answer, I slowly learned to trust and focus on the progress that I was making in my life which other people were unable to see. I have found the purpose of my life and I am living it with a clear focus on the road ahead of me. I have direction and a vision. I haven’t figured out all the aspects in my life yet but I am certainly sure of my career. From a girl without direction and purpose, I turned into a woman who can support and take care of herself. I’ve created a life that brings happiness to me and the people around me. All the experiences that I have encountered in life have made me stronger and wiser. I spend my days sharing the knowledge that I have and enhancing the skills of young learners and shaping their future. At the end of the day, I might not have accomplished what other people want but I have accomplished so much that I’ve truly worked hard for. That’s what matters.
I am only a teacher and not a professional expert or a life coach. For anyone who is clueless about their future, let me tell you this. You are the one who can make it brighter or dull. Listen to what people have to say but remember you must always believe in yourself no matter what. When in need, don’t be afraid to ask for help. But never let other people define your purpose of life. It belongs to you and all the answers you may ever need in your life are within you. However long it may takes, give yourself the time to find them because someday you will.