Today’s daily prompt is, Litmus, Litmus on the Wall:
If you had to come up with one question, the answer to which would determine whether or not you could be friends with a person you’ve just met, what would it be? What would the right answer be?
To begin with, the first thing that came to my mind after reading today’s prompt was my favorite TV show, FRIENDS. I always wish I had friends like Chandler who has the weirdest sense of humor and Phoebe who is the friend in need when you have to deal with some weird shit because she’d even help you bury a corpse. She’d be there when you’re pregnant and can’t bring yourself to tell your scary father. And then Joe, when you have a jellyfish sting, he’d pee on you just to take away the pain and make you feel better.
So, if you like ‘Friends’, then you’re automatically my friend. Congrats!
But, seriously, no, that’s not all.
Friends…. It’s one particular topic that I dread on writing about because I rarely have experienced true friendship in my life, but I could write a book on the same topic. Funny, isn’t it? Throughout the last few years, I lost friends and then gained some—actually, not some but a very few. I could do without friends, though, because as much as I like to talk and hang out with people doing things that are considered as the norm, I rather prefer to stay home and write or read. It seems nicer without people’s company once in a while. For another thing, personally, I believe having one true friend is better and enough than having ten friends that you can’t share your 2am secrets and thoughts with. Some people just want to have a quick chat with you just so they can kill some of their spare time and share some of your cookies or doughnuts. Trust me.
I haven’t seen my closest best friend in almost 7 years, because sometime after I left to USA, she moved to the UK for her studies. We still kept in touch and even after all these years without even seeing each other after ages, we can call up one another any time and cry if we wanted to, or tell whichever situation going on, because the friendship hasn’t died or cut in despite being apart. We’re there for each other in the small ways as we can and she’s probably the only person in the world who knows me as much as I know about myself. You don’t have to drive around every day or hang out every other weekend or call them often to keep a friendship alive. I mean, of course you can do all those, but it’s not necessary when you have a real friend, because even if they are way over the other end of the world, you wouldn’t lose them for any reason. I can go over to her apartment right now (if only I could) and I wouldn’t have to feel obliged to say or give a reason for why I am there or anything, for she would already know that I’m there because I need her. She’s my life support, the only friend who—even after every odd stood against to break our friendship—didn’t leave my side or stopped being my friend. Tila, this is for you. Thank you for being there for me and for all the support that you’ve given me so far.
My other closest friend is my sister and boy, it’s funny because we are like the opposite of opposite! You can never imagine us being friends, but it’s the kind of friendship that if someone said something bad about her, I’d break and eat that person’s damn head off and she’d do way worse (take my word for it) if someone said anything bad about me. Yeah.. As much as we get on each other’s nerves all the time, we are practically the best friend of each other so we can never stay mad at each other for too long. When we have something exciting to share with, the first person we run to is each other.
Apart from those two, I have had other closest friends throughout my entire life so far, but last few years I realized who my true friends are. Some friends are there when they need you to get some information or some other favor. I hate when people think that they can get away with the friendship card when they need something. If you ask me, I’d actually do you any favors, but if you don’t have any interest in being a friend, then don’t talk to me in the first place. I am not interested in pursuing any friendship with a person intending to ask them for favors in the future. I don’t mind being asked for help or anything that you need, but if you’re only friends with me for personal favors or your convenience, then go ahead and drop contact with me. What friendship is, for me at least, is comfort and sincerity in the good times as well as not so good times. When I become friends with someone, it is because I feel as if I can trust them in a personal way than I could trust my doctor or the dentist, or the mailman, not because the first thought that crosses my head is, “Ooh! I can borrow their car, money and.. this.. and that and…”. You get the idea.
I am very friendly, naturally, but staying friends with me is not as easy as it might seem because from one glance or a conversation, I can tell in the first place, if a person is really interested in being my friend or not. Sometimes, the trouble is that even if I knew they didn’t, I’d still be their friend regardless. It had cost me a lot of pain and hurt in the past, because eventually, I end up the person who’s getting stabbed from the back or done wrong to and also, losing a friend. I’m not as sad about losing such a friend,though, who hardly values the friendship, because you know what, they never would in this lifetime anyway.
For another thing, social media has become the best friend in this era and I’m no exception, sadly. I have more internet friends than friends in real life. There’s this chat site I’m a regular visitor of and I’ve made so many good friends over the course of few years. No kidding. It’s saddening because I’ve spoken to these people a lot more than the friends who’ve known me in person. I have good friends that I speak to on a regular basis that lives far far away from me. What is it that I feel more closer to these people than the ones who live near by? These certain people care about me and they’d listen to me. They’d call me out on my own bullshit, if they had to, at all. Friends don’t just be there for each other, they would let you deal with your own shit if what they had to do in order to help you. They are there for me in ways that the friends who live 5 minutes away from me wouldn’t even if they could. You know what I mean. Some of the friends that I thought were good friends are too busy and unavailable, but I find their whole lives unraveling and their status popping up every five seconds on my news-feed. It makes me sick to the point that I no longer use Facebook, because as useful as it is for few things, it is twice upsetting to deal with it in the first place.
So I wouldn’t ask, “Hey, do you happen to like Sherlock Holmes?” or some kind of other silly question to determine if I want to be friends with someone, because in the end it doesn’t matter if they like the same show, book or the restaurant as you do. What really matters is, if they would ever care enough to be sincere with you in the first place to tell you, ”God, that show stinks!” because without honesty and sincerity, no friendship can ever survive for too long.
But, other than that,
“hey, there, do you want to drink some tequila—or some wine, perhaps?!”